Podcast-Anger I Didn’t Expect

Topic: Protest, Boundaries, and the “Bodyguard” 

Total Estimated Runtime: 18–22 Minutes

Intro & Specialist Backgrounds (0:00 – 5:00)

(Post Prod Note: BGM: A slightly more rhythmic, lower-toned lo-fi track)

Hi, welcome to Tila. This episode is for the heat or yung init na hindi mo ine’expect. If you’re feeling ‘bitter,’ frustrated, or if you find yourself wanting to send a long, angry text message at 1 AM… stay here. You are not a ‘bad’ person for feeling this way.  kasi madalas Anger is the most misunderstood and judged part of grieving.

Kasi dito Sa Tila, we don’t judge the fire. We just learned how to sit with it. I’m joined again by the insights from our specialists who have helped me frame these difficult emotions.

Coach Alicia Serrano returns with her expertise in ‘Boundary Work.’ She has coached hundreds of emerging adults through the transition of breakups, and she has this radical view that anger is actually an act of self-love.

Clylee Javier, our multimedia practitioner, is back to discuss how we use digital spaces to express our frustration and why ‘subtweeting’ or ‘rage-scrolling’ might be doing more than we realize.

And Marj Laurena returns to guide us in ‘Cathartic Expression,’ the art of letting the body release what the heart can’t contain.

The Bridge: Kasama ang insights mula sa ating specialists, bigyan natin ng espasyo ang init na nararamdaman mo pag-usapan natin kung bakit ang galit ay hindi kaaway, kundi isang bodyguard na nagbabantay sa iyong puso.”

Body: Q&A Segment (5:00 – 18:00)

As we proceed to get to know this intense feeling one of the question that emerges is..

Q: Bakit bigla na lang akong nagagalit? Dati naman akong pasensyosong tao. 

During my interviews, one respondent shared, ‘I was fine for a week, then suddenly, I saw them post a photo with friends and I felt this pure, hot rage. I felt like I wanted to scream.’ Coach Alicia shared something very powerful about this. In Attachment Theory, anger is a ‘protest response.’ It’s your system’s way of fighting against the loss of a connection. Isipin mo ang anger bilang isang Bodyguard. Bakit ba may bodyguard ang isang tao? Kasi may ‘VIP’ sa loob na kailangang protektahan. Your anger is protecting your hurt, your pride, and your sense of fairness. It’s your system saying, ‘This wasn’t right’ or ‘I deserved more than how I was treated.’ It’s not the opposite of love; it’s proof of your self-worth.

Q: What about ‘bitterness’? Should I be worried that I’m becoming a bitter person? 

In my talk with Clylee Javier, we discussed how social media feeds into this. We see them ‘moving forward’ while we are still here, and the bitterness grows. Clylee notes that ‘bitterness’ is often just anger that hasn’t been given a safe place to breathe.

Sabi naman ni Pennebaker, an expert in expressive writing, organizing these angry, fragmented thoughts into a story reduces the physiological stress in our bodies. Bitterness stays when we suppress it. But when we say, ‘I am bitter because I feel undervalued,’ the emotion starts to move. It’s about giving the fire air so it can burn out naturally, instead of smothering it and letting it smoke forever.

Q: How do I handle the urge to lash out or send ‘that’ text message?

Maybe there are moments na gigil na i-send yung mahabang message or mag-parinig online. So you may ask How do I handle the urge to lash out or send ‘that’ text message?  Coach Alicia says: Don’t rush forgiveness. Forgiveness is a destination that some people never reach, and that’s okay. Instead of focusing on ‘letting go,’ focus on ‘holding space’ for the anger.

Try using the ‘Passenger Seat’ analogy: Isipin mo na ang galit mo ay isang pasahero sa sasakyan. You don’t have to kick the anger out of the car. Let it sit in the passenger seat. Acknowledge mo yung presence niya, feel the heat, and hear its complaints pero huwag mo siyang hahayaang humawak sa steering wheel.

Ikaw pa rin ang driver. You can be angry and still choose to be kind to yourself. You can be angry and still choose not to send that message. The bodyguard is there to protect you, not to drive your life into a wreck.

Integration & Activity: The Unsent Message (18:00 – 22:00)

“Bago tayo maghiwalay, I want us to try an activity called The Unsent Message. As mentioned by Marj Laurena, this is a form of ‘Safe Catharsis.’

Madalas kasi, we are told to be ‘the bigger person’ or to ‘be polite’ kahit nasasaktan na tayo. But today, we’re letting the Bodyguard speak. I want you to think of the thing you are angriest about right now. Take a piece of paper, or even just your voice recorder. This is your space to be 100% unfiltered. Don’t be polite. Just let the bodyguard say exactly what felt unfair.

I’m going to give you a minute or two leaving you some heavy, steady beats to match that energy. Use this time to start writing or just to plan what you want to say. If you need prompts, you can find them sa Activity Page natin,called the unsent message. So, Take your time, I will just be here…

(Music Bed: 90 seconds with a bit more energy, then fading to calm)

Now, here is the most important part. Marj suggests a symbolic release. you get to choose how to let it go:

Scribble it out: Take a pen and go wild. Burahin mo yung mga salita hanggang sa maging ink na lang sila.

Rip it up: Shred the paper into tiny pieces. Damhin mo yung tension na lumalabas sa mga kamay mo habang pinupunit mo ito.

Ang mahalaga kasi, nailabas at na-express mo yung intense emotions mo without creating irreversible damage sa ‘yo o sa ibang tao. This is about giving those feelings a place to live outside of your body, so you don’t have to carry the weight anymore.

Conclusion & Tease (22:00 – 25:00)

As we wrap up this episode, I want you to remember one thing: Anger is proof that you value yourself. It’s the bodyguard that stood up when you felt something was unfair. Thank you for trusting us and for letting your fire breathe here in Tila.

Huwag mong madaliin ang sarili mo. Always remember, you don’t have to be ‘over it’ to be okay. Healing isn’t a straight line, and it’s okay if the bodyguard still needs to stand watch for a while.”

But if your ‘weather’ changes kung yung apoy na nararamdaman mo ngayon ay biglang maging isang mabigat na timbang na parang hindi mo na kayang buhatin then I invite you to join us for our next episode, ‘Everything Feels Heavy.’

Pag-uusapan naman natin doon kung bakit ang katawan mo ay biglang humihingi ng ‘Pause’ at bakit kailangan mong mag-slow down. It’s okay to rest, and we’ll explore that together.

Until then, take care of your fire. We begin kung nasaan ka man. This is Tila.